Kid Rock: A lyricist on training wheels

Normally I steer clear of FM radio in favor of news and sports talk, but on those rare occasions when there is nothing of any substance on the AM band, I flip over.
Lately, it seems that every time I go the way of FM I hear one song and one song only: Kid Rock's All Summer Long.
Even though we share Michigan roots, I've never been much of a Kid Rock fan. In my younger days, I totally dismissed lyrics as a factor in determining my like or dislike for a given song. These days, however, I actually listen to words like these:

Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life, like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair

Ok, I know what you are thinking: "He's such a little smart aleck to critique the use of the word "shined" instead of the preferred "shone".
Well, you're wrong.
I'm not even going to mention the multiple negation.
I am just wondering what the internet has to do with being able to remember the way the moonlight shone upon this girl's hair.
Do most people need the internet to remember something like that?
And as if the lyrics weren't ridiculous enough, the song is a tribute (read knock-off) of Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama.
Hearing the old riff isn't a bad thing, I guess; it just takes a little of the shine off when Kid rhymes the word "things" with the word "things".

Kid: I know you are trying to reinvent yourself these days, trading in your tarnished wannabe hip-hop image for something down home, but give us a break.

At least give us something like this: Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy.