Down Carolina way--again

I spent this past week in North Carolina visiting my new niece, Jaedyn. She's only just a month old and she's already walking and talking.

In fact, when before I left she told me, quite plainly, to "take the 501 bypass in Myrtle Beach" because US-17 is "like a parking lot most of the time."

I'm kidding, of course, but there is a method to my madness.

Babies all develop differently, they all respond to stimulae differently, and they all adapt to different environments. So, why all the competition amongst new parents?

It's like the two boys on the playground arguing about their dads. It's like a game of can-you-top-that?

When your kid learns how to walk and talk probably has no bearing on his or her level of overall aptitude. It has more to do with less quantifiable things.

So, when I hear parents talking about their kid as opposed to someone else's kid I start to get squeamish.

Do I think my niece is going to be smarter or in any way better than someone else's kid? Of course not. I'm not programmed to think of things in this way.

And, in any event, every infant is super smart and talented. Every infant is cute. And none of them ever cry.

Just ask their parents.

But, I digress...

The Trip

Since I can't ever do anything the orthodox way, I flew from Detroit to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, to get to Charlotte, North Carolina. I spent the night in Myrtle Beach, a tourist trap on cattle steroids, and left the next morning for Charlotte. It turned out to be a four hour drive through the wildwwod of the Carolinas. I enjoyed it, however, as it was the first time I'd taken a long trip without using an expressway.

Driving through the Old South I was always intrigued by each city's favorite son our daughter. From L.L. Polk and Randy Travis to Jesse Helms and Dizzy Gillespie, each town boasted one of its own. In truth, the only reason I paid any attention to this is because I noticed the sign in North Myrtle Beach before I left that said "the home of Vanna White."

Wow. I guess that's the best you can do, eh NMB?

I finally made it to Charlotte on Wednesday afternoon and I had a great time visiting my sister, brother-in-law, Jaedyn and my old girlfriend Beth. Still, I have a mind of to wander and I didn't sit around a whole lot.

Sites Seen

The Billy Graham Library: Located off Billy Graham Parkway in south Charlotte, the library had just opened the day prior to my visit. It was hotter than the blazes that day, but it was worth the short drive down 77. It's a purely evangelical operation, that much is clear, but it's also a fitting tribute to a truly great man.

Kannapolis, NC: I had to visit K-Town this time around to witnesses one of the most spectacular construction projects currently underway in the United States. The entire face of the city is being changed by the construction of an enormous research park (sponsored by UNC, Duke and NC State amongst others). The project will encompass the entire downtown area including the old Cannon Mills factory for which the city was named. By the way, NMB, K-town has Dale Earnhardt and George Clinton.

Mooresville, NC: This is the home of Dale Earnhardt Incorporated. The headquarters of DEI is just on the south end of town and is free for visitors. To get there, just take NC-3 (named for Dale Earnhardt after his death) north from Kannapolis. Many other racing teams are quartered in Mooresville, but who really cares?

Davidson, NC: Davidson is home to, you guessed it, Davidson College. The prestigious college is situated near Lake Norman, the largest man-made lake in North Carolina. Davidson is nothing without the college, but the college is beautiful.

Concord, NC: Home of the Charlotte Motor Speedway, Concord is a racing town through and through. Nascar fans (and even non-fans like myself) can snoop around the track and even find a way in during time trials. It is a great racing facility in a great location.

Darlington, SC: Darlington, on the other hand, isn't. This is Boondock racing at its very best. You can scarcely compare the two tracks. Darlington is old and very ill looking. The city is small, and I can hardly imagine what it must be like on race day. The Charlotte track looks like a colossus, Darlington looks like Auto City after a year's worth of deep-fried twinkies.

Florence, SC: Don't be fooled by what you've heard about this quaint little southern city. It's a dump.

There you have it.

Oh the sanctimony...

This morning I had the misfortune of watching CNN International's report on the comings and goings of the British Queen in America.

This sort of reporting has been on the front pages of newspapers all across the world for a couple days and it's nothing short of pathetic.

It's the same old tripe about what can and can't be said in front of the Queen--it's pomp and pageantry at its most embarrassing.

Cameras capturing throngs of people in Washington D.C. huddled en masse to catch a glimpse of the Queen, photo opportunities on the south lawn of the White House with President Bush, white-tie banquets--it all makes me sick.

The fact that the Queen is taken in as a legitimate world leader is even more troubling than her celebrity status among pinheads in this country and abroad.

Get a load of this from the Guardian in Britain:

Suzanne Goldenberg in Washington
Tuesday May 8, 2007
The Guardian

On a morning that should by rights have been frozen in time as a moment of pure pageantry, with military marching bands, pipers trucked out in tricorn hats and powdered wigs, and visiting royalty, one can count on George Bush.
The president yesterday once again demonstrated his gift for the gaffe, injecting an unintended sense of levity into the White House welcome for the Queen.

In his speech on the south lawn of the White House, he noted that the Queen had made repeated visits to the US during her reign, including celebrations to mark the country's 200th anniversary. "The American people are proud to welcome Your Majesty back to the United States, a nation you've come to know very well," Bush said. "After all, you've dined with 10 US presidents. You helped our nation celebrate its bicentennial in 17 - in 1976."

As the laughter rippled through the crowd of 7,000 invited guests corralled behind red, white and blue bunting, Mr Bush tried to make light of his slip.
He shot a quick look at the Queen, and said: "You gave me a look that only a mother could give a child."

But by then, Mr Bush's discomfort with the pageantry that a royal visit entails was an open secret. His wife, Laura Bush, told ABC television yesterday morning that she and the secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, had to use all their persuasive powers to coax him into a white tie for the state banquet scheduled later yesterday.

It was to be the first white-tie event of his administration. "I don't know how thrilled he was about this - but, of course, when you're hosting the Queen of England, of course you want to have it be white tie," Mrs Bush said. "This is the perfect occasion for it - and he was a very good sport."

However, that sense of sportsmanship was not very evident at the White House yesterday morning when Mr Bush appeared to treat the visit by the Queen like that of any world leader, launching into a boiler plate address on the war on terror.

He praised Britain's historic contributions such as the Magna Carta in equal measure to its contribution in Iraq and Afghanistan. "Today our two nations are defending liberty against tyranny and terror. We're resisting those who murder the innocent to advance a hateful ideology, whether they kill in New York or London or Kabul or Baghdad," he said.

Mr Bush went on to pay tribute to the monarch's personal contribution in the war on terror. "Your Majesty, I appreciate your leadership during these times of danger and decision," the president said. "You've spoken out against extremism and terror. You've encouraged religious tolerance and reconciliation. You have honored those returning from battle and comforted the families of the fallen."

It was impossible to see the Queen's reaction from beneath her black and white hat, but the tone of her brief comments were in sharp contrast to those from Mr Bush. "A state visit provides us with a brief opportunity to step back from our current preoccupations to reflect on the very essence of our relationship," the Queen said.

"It is the moment to take stock of our present friendship, rightly taking pleasure from its strengths while never taking these for granted. And it is the time to look forward, jointly renewing our commitment to a more prosperous, safer and freer world."

With a wave from the portico of the White House, the Queen and Mr Bush then retreated inside the White House for a lunch of baby sea bass followed by raspberry meringue, and chocolate sorbet. But the focus was really on the state banquet later. The White House reportedly has been agog with preparations for the event, at which some 134 invited guests will dine on gold-trimmed china, and hear a performance from the violin virtuoso, Itzhak Perlman.

Mrs Bush has been ebulliant about the prospect. For Mr Bush, however, it's a different story. He likes to dine on Tex-Mex food and be in bed by 10pm.

Yesterday morning's remark was not his first slip in front of the Queen. When she visited the White House in 1991 during his father's presidency, he said he was the black sheep of the Bush family. He then asked: "Who's yours?"

The Queen did not reply. That awkward moment may well have been weighing on his mind in the run-up to last night's encounter.

To speak of the Queen and her "reign" is a complete joke. To make the inference that she should be treated with more care than any other world leader is utterly laughable.

In truth, she's not a world leader in any substantial way. She's an anachronistic ornament, nothing more, of the British Monarchy that today is anecdotal-at-best.

The empire is dead.

It's old news.

Real political power in the United Kingdom rests with Parliament, not the Queen, and rightly so. Even so, the love affair with the Monarchy goes on; and that's fine in Britain, but why here? Why do Americans care about Queen Elizabeth or Prince Harry?

Our house should be the house of commons, and theirs the house of lords.

Our ancestors shoved off from Gibralter more than two hundred fifty years ago to establish a meritocracy to counter the excesses of the Monarchy in Britain. And now we think it's something to be looked upon with care? We're supposed to pretend like the royals are relevant?

Seeing the President of the United States at a white-tie affair with a bunch of do-nothing rich white people isn't something that makes me proud to be an American.

Being able to call them "do-nothing rich white people" is what makes me most proud.

Stupidity has a face

**In the interest of full disclosure I should make mention of the fact that I am still bitter that Woody beat out the Grizzly Man, Timothy Treadwell, for the role of bartender in Cheers**

There was a story on the front page of the Flint Journal today highlighting one woman's brush with stardom--a quick-hitter conversation with Woody Harrelson.

The mediocre-at-best actor, who is currently shooting scenes for an upcoming comedy with Will Ferrell entitled "Semi-Pro", took notice of the woman who was wearing a personalized shirt in his honor.

(I think it should be noted that by the time this woman caught Woody's eye, she had already waited for him in a downtown alley for four hours.)

Here is the Journal's account:

The actors began shaking hands and exchanging words with the crowd, and Dulaney got the attention she sought when Harrelson noticed her shirt - and the one for him in the bag.

"Wow, you made this for me?" he said. "Thank you."

In what seemed to be a flash, the actors were back on the set, the excitement had died down - and Dulaney was a minor celebrity. She retreated to her chair to let her joy sink in.

"This is awesome," she said. "I don't even know what time it is. And my feet don't hurt any more."

This is a grown woman, friends.

Imagine how she might react to meeting someone with talent. Instead, she is coming unglued over an actor who has given his life to such noble causes as: the legalization of weed, hemp oil-powered cars and the saving of the redwoods.

This is to say nothing of his stellar performances on the silver screen--Kingpin, The Cowboy Way and Money Train to name a few.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like redwoods and B-quality movies as much as the next guy. That being said, I think it is obvious that this guy is the quintessential Hollywood elitist, a member of the guardian class of vegans.

Yeah, I have a problem with Woody Harrelson and people like him.

Call them the Limousine Leftists.

By now you should know them by their fruit: They make crappy movies, they make a lot of money, they are socially irresponsible, they cling to irrelevant causes that rarely involve HUMAN suffering and then feign interest in their fans for five seconds to keep them coming back to the box office to subsidize their dispensable lives.

Flint is in rare form right now, with LaKisha Jones in the final four of American Idol and the filming of Semi-Pro in downtown.

The spotlight is starting to illuminate something that is pathetic at best and disgusting at worst: The hero worship of celebrities.

Like, for instance, this...

Again, from the Flint Journal:

Did you spot someone famous at a local restaurant, bar, ice cream shop or some other place? The filming of "Semi-Pro" in Flint will bring comedic superstar Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Maura Tierney from "E.R." fame, Andre "3000" Benjamin, and other cast members.
And we think you will ... so share the details here.

What did they say, what did they eat or do. Did you get a photo?

I think the obvious response is "who cares!?" However, let me field a guess where Harrelson's choice of food is concerned:

A soyburger topped with wheatgerm pressed between two gluten-free buns washed down with organic prune juice.

Yeah, folks in Flint can relate to that.

People like Harrelson and his ilk aren't like us. In fact, they think we're stupid.

And, in at least one case, they're right.

Islam taught by unenlightened Christian

Last evening, I had the good fortune of being able to lead a small group Bible study for a group of about 15 junior high girls. Good fortune you say? Yes. They listen a little bit better than their counterparts--and I think they're smarter, too.

I walked into the classroom with my short lesson in hand and took a quick glance at the dry erase board. In all capital letter was written "ISLAM", followed by about 15 bullet points.

Being a student of Middle Eastern history and of Islam, specifically, I took a quick inventory of what someone at my church was teaching impressionable minds.

I was appalled.

What I saw was stereotype after stereotype about a religion that constitutes about one quarter of all religious adherents in the world--nearly 1.5 billion.

I read proscriptions like "not allowed to use cell phones" or "must eat with right hand" or "women not equal...ever"--just to name a few.

There was also mention of the "fact" that there are no miracles in the religion. This, of course, comes down to semantics and the inference is that it cannot be a legitimate religion without miracles. (Many would consider Muhammed's "night ascension" to be miraculous and others would characterize all prophecy as such.)

With respect to other statements about the religion, I'm not as shocked as I am disappointed. I guess it's perfectly ok to generalize about a religion that is not your own.

Whoever taught this class on Islam apparently doesn't know that 1.5 billion people is a lot of people. Further, he or she certainly wouldn't know the difference between a Sunni and a Shi'ite a, a Salafi and a Sufi, or a Wahabi and Ba'hai. And so, in keeping with this quick tradition of glossing over meaningful differences in favor of stereotypes, I will give readers a quick glance at Christianity.

CHRISTIANITY (as taught by an unenlightened Muslim)

1.) Christian women cannot wear skirts shorter than ankle-length.
2.) Christian men must not wear hats in sanctuaries.
3.) Christians hate homosexuals.
4.) Christians are staunch Republicans and Israel sympathizers.
5.) Christians wear ash on their foreheads once a year.
6.) Christians handle snakes during worship services.
7.) Christians don't believe in using birth control.
8.) Christian women are not equal and do not hold positions of power.
9.) The Bible has dozens of separate versions and translations.
10.) Christians believe that babies burn in hell.
11.) Christians only listen to music approved by their pastors.
12.) Christians believe that the earth is 5,000 years old.
13.) Christians don't drink wine.
14.) Christians speak a gibberish language they call "tongues."
15.) Christians don't work on the Sabbath.

Generalizations like these don't serve anyone. My suggestion is this: If you don't appreciate your religion being characterized by its margins, don't do it to the religions of others.

For all this: Christianity is too big; Islam is too big.

I-man, fall guy

The controversy surrounding the comments made by talk radio relic Don Imus have had opportunistic media outlets like CNN and Fox News buzzing for nearly a week.
In the wake of the University of Tennessee’s victory over Rutgers in the NCAA women’s basketball national championship game, Imus referred to Rutgers players on-air as “some nappy-headed hoes.”
It was a classless crack at the appearance of the Rutgers team—the inference was that they looked masculine and unkempt.
The racially-charged remark earned for the radio veteran of 39 years a two week suspension—a decision he did not appeal—and finally a letter of termination from CBS’ brass.
Does the punishment fit the crime? Probably not.
It was a stupid mistake, a failed attempt at humor, and certainly warrants some degree of censure; it was bad form all the way around, but I don’t think it rises to the level of an offense worthy of dismissal.
It’s out-of-bounds humor, but I think it’s also more than that.
To my way of thinking, the call by many in this country for Imus to lose his job rings hollow.
His comments were cheap and nasty to say the very least, but I believe they also reflect a popular acceptance of a culture that tolerates this type of defamatory speech as a matter of course.
In short, the hip-hop culture is the prevailing entertainment culture in this country right now and incidents like this are becoming more and more common.
The language of the hip-hop culture is vile, plain and simple.
Several weeks back, I visited Grand Blanc East middle school for a junior high basketball game. During the break between the 7th and 8th grade games, the crowd was entertained by—you guessed it—hip-hop music.
I remember one song in particular was chock-full of obscenities including terms like the infamous “n-word” and the aforementioned “hoes.” All this for an overwhelmingly white audience in a gym filled with kids who would certainly be sent to the principal’s office for using such language during the school day.
If these students cannot yet spell hypocrisy, they should certainly know what it means.
This sort of destructive language is being increasingly popularized and tolerated.
Why aren’t Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson pressuring Def Jam or Bad Boy Records? These are the labels that consistently churn-out music that is defamatory toward women and black women especially.
The tragedy that the Imus controversy points up is just that, tragic. We have given racism and bigotry a free pass in the hip-hop culture for far too long and now we want to stand back and feign genuine outrage about it?
My first brush with the term “ho” as shorthand for “woman” was in junior high school. My teacher was none other than acclaimed west coast rapper Dr. Dre.
Most people under the age of 40 have probably never heard of Don Imus before this controversy came to the fore.
What may ultimately cost Imus his job earned Grammys for rap “artists” like Eminem and Ludacris—names we know and celebrate.
The sexist, racist, homophobic, gutter speech practiced by so many has been regularized in our popular culture and what are we going to do about it?
The hip-hop culture in America is Vaudevillian at its core. It reinforces many of the most noxious stereotypes about African-Americans, catering to ill-conceived notions about race that already exist among many people of every stripe in this country.
That, far beyond anything that Don Imus could say about a basketball game that almost no one watched, is truly despicable.

And the winner is...

I thought it would be fun to put together a list of my top 50 favorite albums. Think what you must, but here are my 50:

Field's Top 50 Albums

1.) Coldplay - Live 2003
2.) The Postal Service - Give Up
3.) Jars of Clay - self-titled
4.) Nirvana - Unplugged
5.) B.B. King - Live at the Apollo
6.) Robert Randolph and the Family Band - Live at the Wetlands
7.) Dave Matthews Band - Live at Luther College
8.) O.A.R. - Anytime Now (Live)
9.) Ben Folds - Rockin' the Suburbs
10.) Pete Yorn - Music for the Morning After
11.) Jewel - Pieces of You
12.) Coldplay - X & Y
13.) Oh My God - The Action Album
14.) The Killers - Hot Fuss
15.) Silverchair - Freakshow
16.) P.O.D. - Satellite
17.) No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom
18.) Alan Jackson - Precious Memories
19.) The Doors - Greatest Hits
20.) Susan Tedeschi - Just Won't Burn
21.) Ralph Stanley and the Clinch Mountain Boys - Live at McCabe's
22.) N.E.R.D - In Search Of...
23.) Jimi Hendrix - Experience
24.) Jewel - Spirit
25.) Pete Yorn - Nightcrawler
26.) Garth Brooks - The Hits
27.) David Gray - White Ladder
28.) The Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty
29.) Chiodos - All's Well That Ends Well
30.) Charlotte Church - Voice of an Angel
31.) RATM - Live and Rare
32.) The Streets - A Grand Don't Come For Free
33.) The Roots - Phrenology
34.) Silverchair - Frogstomp
35.) Robert Randolph and the Family Band - Unclassified
36.) Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
37.) Incubus - Morningview
38.) Bush - Sixteen Stone
39.) Incubus - Make Yourself
40.) Creed - My Own Prison
41.) Sixpense - self-titled
42.) Legends of the Fall - Soundtrack
43.) The Offspring - Smash
44.) Jeff Buckley - Grace
45.) Pete Yorn - Day I Forgot
46.) R.E.M - Monster
47.) Korn - Issues
48.) Days of the New - self-titled
49.) Robbers on High Street - Tree City
50.) RATM - Evil Empire

The bane of my existence

Gift certificates.

I'm not going to concoct some boring lecture about logical fallacies and the like, but let's at least try to create some convention concering this commerical charade.

Call me old-fashioned, but where I come from a gift certificate is called a check or a fifty dollar bill; and, in the case of the bill, it is backed by the "full faith and credit of the United States government."--not Geoffrey the Giraffe or one of Sam Walton's silver-spooned grandkids.

So, let me get this straight, faceless commercial organization: I get to pay you fifty dollars for fifty dollars worth of credit to give away to someone else so they can be pigeonholed into buying that amount of overpriced merchandise from your outlet?

Gee, thanks.

And people actually take you up on this offer? It would make sense, economically speaking, were the transactions handled a bit differently. For instance, if I paid fifty dollars for sixty dollars worth of credit. That makes sense.

Like most everything in life, it's a tradeoff. I would get ten dollars worth of extra credit to give away and the commerical entreprise still gets it's money and would still maintain some semblance of a profit margin. In this way, they would be giving you a 20 percent incentive to do business with them as opposed to going elsewhere or, perhaps, just giving money--money that, realistically, could be used to buy sixty dollars worth of crap from another business.

But, in the absence of such an arrangement, what sense do gift certificates make?

What if someone has no interest in accumulating more "stuff"? What if the best gift someone could get is money to pay a bill?

"Here, I know you have that outstanding medical bill to pay off, but how do you feel about fifty dollars worth of bargain DVDs from Target?"

My sister is having a baby shower soon, and apparently no one in my family or her husband's has taken an entry level micro or macroeconomics course.

My sister flew in from North Carolina for not one, but two showers and she will, undoubtedly, be burdened by a bunch of "stuff" that she will have to find a way to taxi back to Charlotte. I don't think there will be room for a "baby bouncer" or a Disney mobile in the overhead compartment of an Airbus.

Just a hunch.

Why bother registering with Target or Kids 'R'Us? Why not register with good old Uncle Sam? Just send money. You can still have a baby shower, but instead of bringing packaged gifts bring stacks of green.

One of the keys to understanding market economics is this: Transportation costs dictate the size of a market. In other words, it makes more sense to get sugar cane from the Dominican if you live in south Florida than it does to get sugar beets from the Thumb of Michigan.

But, I digress.

Let's stop this silly little charade and start acting like saavy consumers.

Next time, instead of going to Target or Best Buy, go to Western Union.