Oh the sanctimony...

This morning I had the misfortune of watching CNN International's report on the comings and goings of the British Queen in America.

This sort of reporting has been on the front pages of newspapers all across the world for a couple days and it's nothing short of pathetic.

It's the same old tripe about what can and can't be said in front of the Queen--it's pomp and pageantry at its most embarrassing.

Cameras capturing throngs of people in Washington D.C. huddled en masse to catch a glimpse of the Queen, photo opportunities on the south lawn of the White House with President Bush, white-tie banquets--it all makes me sick.

The fact that the Queen is taken in as a legitimate world leader is even more troubling than her celebrity status among pinheads in this country and abroad.

Get a load of this from the Guardian in Britain:

Suzanne Goldenberg in Washington
Tuesday May 8, 2007
The Guardian

On a morning that should by rights have been frozen in time as a moment of pure pageantry, with military marching bands, pipers trucked out in tricorn hats and powdered wigs, and visiting royalty, one can count on George Bush.
The president yesterday once again demonstrated his gift for the gaffe, injecting an unintended sense of levity into the White House welcome for the Queen.

In his speech on the south lawn of the White House, he noted that the Queen had made repeated visits to the US during her reign, including celebrations to mark the country's 200th anniversary. "The American people are proud to welcome Your Majesty back to the United States, a nation you've come to know very well," Bush said. "After all, you've dined with 10 US presidents. You helped our nation celebrate its bicentennial in 17 - in 1976."

As the laughter rippled through the crowd of 7,000 invited guests corralled behind red, white and blue bunting, Mr Bush tried to make light of his slip.
He shot a quick look at the Queen, and said: "You gave me a look that only a mother could give a child."

But by then, Mr Bush's discomfort with the pageantry that a royal visit entails was an open secret. His wife, Laura Bush, told ABC television yesterday morning that she and the secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, had to use all their persuasive powers to coax him into a white tie for the state banquet scheduled later yesterday.

It was to be the first white-tie event of his administration. "I don't know how thrilled he was about this - but, of course, when you're hosting the Queen of England, of course you want to have it be white tie," Mrs Bush said. "This is the perfect occasion for it - and he was a very good sport."

However, that sense of sportsmanship was not very evident at the White House yesterday morning when Mr Bush appeared to treat the visit by the Queen like that of any world leader, launching into a boiler plate address on the war on terror.

He praised Britain's historic contributions such as the Magna Carta in equal measure to its contribution in Iraq and Afghanistan. "Today our two nations are defending liberty against tyranny and terror. We're resisting those who murder the innocent to advance a hateful ideology, whether they kill in New York or London or Kabul or Baghdad," he said.

Mr Bush went on to pay tribute to the monarch's personal contribution in the war on terror. "Your Majesty, I appreciate your leadership during these times of danger and decision," the president said. "You've spoken out against extremism and terror. You've encouraged religious tolerance and reconciliation. You have honored those returning from battle and comforted the families of the fallen."

It was impossible to see the Queen's reaction from beneath her black and white hat, but the tone of her brief comments were in sharp contrast to those from Mr Bush. "A state visit provides us with a brief opportunity to step back from our current preoccupations to reflect on the very essence of our relationship," the Queen said.

"It is the moment to take stock of our present friendship, rightly taking pleasure from its strengths while never taking these for granted. And it is the time to look forward, jointly renewing our commitment to a more prosperous, safer and freer world."

With a wave from the portico of the White House, the Queen and Mr Bush then retreated inside the White House for a lunch of baby sea bass followed by raspberry meringue, and chocolate sorbet. But the focus was really on the state banquet later. The White House reportedly has been agog with preparations for the event, at which some 134 invited guests will dine on gold-trimmed china, and hear a performance from the violin virtuoso, Itzhak Perlman.

Mrs Bush has been ebulliant about the prospect. For Mr Bush, however, it's a different story. He likes to dine on Tex-Mex food and be in bed by 10pm.

Yesterday morning's remark was not his first slip in front of the Queen. When she visited the White House in 1991 during his father's presidency, he said he was the black sheep of the Bush family. He then asked: "Who's yours?"

The Queen did not reply. That awkward moment may well have been weighing on his mind in the run-up to last night's encounter.

To speak of the Queen and her "reign" is a complete joke. To make the inference that she should be treated with more care than any other world leader is utterly laughable.

In truth, she's not a world leader in any substantial way. She's an anachronistic ornament, nothing more, of the British Monarchy that today is anecdotal-at-best.

The empire is dead.

It's old news.

Real political power in the United Kingdom rests with Parliament, not the Queen, and rightly so. Even so, the love affair with the Monarchy goes on; and that's fine in Britain, but why here? Why do Americans care about Queen Elizabeth or Prince Harry?

Our house should be the house of commons, and theirs the house of lords.

Our ancestors shoved off from Gibralter more than two hundred fifty years ago to establish a meritocracy to counter the excesses of the Monarchy in Britain. And now we think it's something to be looked upon with care? We're supposed to pretend like the royals are relevant?

Seeing the President of the United States at a white-tie affair with a bunch of do-nothing rich white people isn't something that makes me proud to be an American.

Being able to call them "do-nothing rich white people" is what makes me most proud.

Stupidity has a face

**In the interest of full disclosure I should make mention of the fact that I am still bitter that Woody beat out the Grizzly Man, Timothy Treadwell, for the role of bartender in Cheers**

There was a story on the front page of the Flint Journal today highlighting one woman's brush with stardom--a quick-hitter conversation with Woody Harrelson.

The mediocre-at-best actor, who is currently shooting scenes for an upcoming comedy with Will Ferrell entitled "Semi-Pro", took notice of the woman who was wearing a personalized shirt in his honor.

(I think it should be noted that by the time this woman caught Woody's eye, she had already waited for him in a downtown alley for four hours.)

Here is the Journal's account:

The actors began shaking hands and exchanging words with the crowd, and Dulaney got the attention she sought when Harrelson noticed her shirt - and the one for him in the bag.

"Wow, you made this for me?" he said. "Thank you."

In what seemed to be a flash, the actors were back on the set, the excitement had died down - and Dulaney was a minor celebrity. She retreated to her chair to let her joy sink in.

"This is awesome," she said. "I don't even know what time it is. And my feet don't hurt any more."

This is a grown woman, friends.

Imagine how she might react to meeting someone with talent. Instead, she is coming unglued over an actor who has given his life to such noble causes as: the legalization of weed, hemp oil-powered cars and the saving of the redwoods.

This is to say nothing of his stellar performances on the silver screen--Kingpin, The Cowboy Way and Money Train to name a few.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like redwoods and B-quality movies as much as the next guy. That being said, I think it is obvious that this guy is the quintessential Hollywood elitist, a member of the guardian class of vegans.

Yeah, I have a problem with Woody Harrelson and people like him.

Call them the Limousine Leftists.

By now you should know them by their fruit: They make crappy movies, they make a lot of money, they are socially irresponsible, they cling to irrelevant causes that rarely involve HUMAN suffering and then feign interest in their fans for five seconds to keep them coming back to the box office to subsidize their dispensable lives.

Flint is in rare form right now, with LaKisha Jones in the final four of American Idol and the filming of Semi-Pro in downtown.

The spotlight is starting to illuminate something that is pathetic at best and disgusting at worst: The hero worship of celebrities.

Like, for instance, this...

Again, from the Flint Journal:

Did you spot someone famous at a local restaurant, bar, ice cream shop or some other place? The filming of "Semi-Pro" in Flint will bring comedic superstar Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Maura Tierney from "E.R." fame, Andre "3000" Benjamin, and other cast members.
And we think you will ... so share the details here.

What did they say, what did they eat or do. Did you get a photo?

I think the obvious response is "who cares!?" However, let me field a guess where Harrelson's choice of food is concerned:

A soyburger topped with wheatgerm pressed between two gluten-free buns washed down with organic prune juice.

Yeah, folks in Flint can relate to that.

People like Harrelson and his ilk aren't like us. In fact, they think we're stupid.

And, in at least one case, they're right.